Why can’t I stop eating? That is a great question and many clients find themselves needing the most support while learning this principle.
Before you can learn fullness, you have to learn to eat regularly. If you are restricting or trying to avoid eating, it is impossible to learn fullness cues.
Imagine a gas tank that is always empty. Imagine you only give it $5 of gas at a time, never filling it up. When you finally do fill it up, you are shocked at how much money it takes to fill the gas tank all the way full. Perhaps that scares you. $5 felt safer. Except you were always worried about running out of gas. All the time. It’s all you can think about. What if I get stopped at a big hill? Will I run of gas? What if I am flying down the highway and my gas runs out? It’s always on your mind and it’s exhausting.
The same happens with food. Comfortable fullness can feel strange when you're either busy trying not to feel full or eat so much you always feel stuffed.
What I teach you to identify is the “just right feeling.” You will learn when to stop eating. You will learn it’s NOT about control, rather it’s about feeling, believing, and honoring your body sensations.
And this can be scary y'all.
Sometimes you are using food to numb your emotions. What you will need are some new coping skills. You will add more tools to your tool belt. You won’t only have food to turn to for comfort.
In fact, you will learn when you can use for comfort...comfort food exists for a reason. Food can connect us to our family, culture, and heritage.
Refreshing isn’t it? Freeing, right?
You bet it is.
What about when you don't want to eat something? You know you’re not hungry but your aunt insists you eat her pie she made just for you.
Then what do you do?
There is only one question you need to ask yourself: dose eating this food serve me right now?
If you eat the food:
You will be disappointed: leading to a shame or guilt spiral (emotional consequence)
You will be uncomfortable full (physical consequence)
or
If you don't eat the food:
You will be disappointed: This might bring up other big feelings (but this is good because this quickly discovers the emotional holes you are trying to food or what emotional eating makes your feel) (emotional consequence)
So why not choose the option the causes the least amount of distress and discomfort? You don't escape doing the emotional work with either option.
The better you become at choosing the option that serves you (which could also be eating the damn cookie) the better at intuitive eating your will become.
The better you will be at honoring your physical fullness. Emotional fullness, well, no amount of food can meet your emotional needs.
Stopping when your full isn’t just an internal cue, it’s also an external practice of putting up boundaries.
And that can be scary too.
You can do it, because you are a grown ass woman and you get to decide what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat.
You will learn to trust yourself.
Ready to learn to eat on your own terms so you don’t feel deprived, disappointed, or guilty after eating any food? Click here to schedule your consult and discover what is holding your back from saying no to any food.